Intention vs. Impact

Over time, I’ve noticed a small bias in how many of us interpret situations at work: We judge ourselves by our intentions, and we judge others by their impact.

When it’s our own action, we often explain it through what we meant to do:

• “I just wanted to move things faster.”
• “I was trying to help.”
• “I didn’t mean to come across that way.”

But when it’s someone else’s action, we usually experience the result first:

• “That was dismissive.”
• “They ignored my input.”
• “They don’t care about collaboration.”

Same situation, different lens. Some more examples:

• You interrupt in a meeting → “I was excited to add an idea.”
• Someone interrupts you → “They’re not respecting my perspective.”
• You send a short message → “Just being efficient.”
• Someone sends you a short message → “That sounded a bit cold.”
• You push back on an idea → “I’m trying to improve the outcome.”
• Someone pushes back on yours → “They’re being difficult.”

Recognizing this bias has been a useful reminder for my own development. Instead of assuming intentions about others, I try to stay curious. Instead of focusing only on my intentions, I try to be mindful of the impact my actions may have.

Two small questions that help me pause:

• What intention might be behind their behavior?
• What impact might my behavior have created, even if I meant well?
• Sometimes that tiny shift changes the whole conversation.